make it so.

It never sits well with me when acquaintances refers to themselves as " a nerd." We all know from the commercial success of Weezer, Silent Bob, Wes Anderson, and that skinny 'Mclovin' bitch, being identified as a nerd is cool.  The veil of calling yourself a nerd seems to be self-deprecating and endearing but 9 times out of 10, the proclamation is offered by the absolute dumbest person in the room.  Lets not confuse obsessive or obnoxious with nerdy.  True nerds wouldn't call themselves as such.  He/She would refer to them self as an intellectual or cerebral.  A true nerd would talk incessantly about their obsession of choice, inept to the fact that you are uninterested or that it makes you feel uncomfortable if not enraged enough to want to inflict harm to his/her genitals.  Conversely, the non-nerd offender tends to carry on with their topic knowing well that their rhetoric is a sheepish attempt at getting kudos that are undeserved.  

Eh, I'm bored with explaining myself.  But know this, don't call yourself a nerd.  I'll be the judge of that.  And if in fact you are a nerd, I'll probably tell you to shut the fuck up (that's really the nerd cure-- no one has ever told them to STFU).  But if in fact you are just a mouth piece that gargles with recycled douche, calling yourself a nerd, I will give you the true nerd treatment and flush your head in a toilet and make fun of your small penis.

At any rate, my diatribe is just a prologue to this video:

This shit looks bad ass.

admit defeat

It's rare that such a fine specimen like me ever loses at anything to anyone.  Yeah, I'm pretty fucking awesome.  But I have sedulously been removed from my post as "High Kick Champion."

Mr. Danny Cho is not only the funniest mofo ever, he can kick you in the mouth and make you laugh about it.

And he does it with such grace.

Touche.

musings

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.

I wrote a song once with these chords once. It was about important stuff... like love. I gotta say, it was pretty awesome. I should've recorded it.

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.

I played the drums to this song once. And by "played drums" I mean "jerked off." It was pretty awesome. Princess Toadstool gives me a 1-up

stuck in the past

I still love watching this. There is a sense of pointlessness to hooking up an MPC to a mixer, and pressing buttons with your mouth. But its still badass.

You bring shame to your family

Over the weekend, my fellow dopplegangers and I were out at the local watering hole shooting the shit. One of the many insipid topics of conversation was the white man's inability to be racially sensitive.

James, the white knight, mentioned his penchant ability to distinguish between the subtleties of the various Asian phenotypes. Now, let me make one thing clear, James is exception to every rule. Lets face it, he's more Asian than I am.

Anyhow, I went on the website he brought up, to test my abilities (alllooksame.com) And of course I scored a 6. By all means, that is a failure, but when I went back to see my test results, I realized I didn't fail of my own folly. I failed because the whole website is a ruse. Look at the freakshows they picked out.

I KNOW what a korean looks like. I can barely stand the site of them. The women pictured below are NOT korean. They're 3rd world ugly. Laos at best.

To that I say, "EFF YOU ALLLOOKSAME.COM!" You can't lump me together with these fugg-hoes.

WTF moment of the week.

WTF? There is so much going on in this picture. Like... how is there a horizontal crease in her camel toe? And how is it that her hand makes the Fiji water bottle look obese?

I have a dream...

Without MLK, we wouldn't have some of the following examples of awesome:



























1. Lou Gosset, Jr. Junior is of no relation to Martin Luther King, Jr.... stop being racist. But you may remember him from Iron Eagle and Iron Eagle II fame. Some of you 80's babies may also remember him as the voice of Commander Clash on "Captain Planet and the Planeteers."
























2. Family Matters- They were a family of firsts of sorts. This show depicted the first black nerd besides that dude from Revenge of the Nerds (he was more gay than nerdy). And of course Eddie Winslow was the only black guy I've ever seen with a muscle car-- a true trailblazers.































3. Junkyard Dog aka JYD- The pre-eminent black wrestler opened doors for future Hall of Fame wrestlers like.... um... Booker T and ... ummmm........ is The Rock Black? You may remember him for his charismatic finishing move-- the Dog-Butt, where he headbutted his opponents to submission. JYD tragically died in 1998 in an automotive accident, in which he fell asleep at the wheel (fail!) and is survived by large litter and serveral wives (I imagine).

























4. Jack Black. He's got Black in his name and he's pretty awesome.... so this counts. Suck it.\


BTW... this list also doubles as a list of 'Blacks with cool facial hair.' Harriet and Grandma Winslow included.

the greatest of all time.

80 degrees and rising.

There is something magical about LA. Its in the air. I think they call it cancer.

this is me.

but i'm way more suave about it.

Gay is the new black.

If you didn't know, now you know-- nigga.

Does anyone miss Depeche Mode as much as I do? What happened to the art of arena synth pop of yesteryear? I guess the resurrection of the art starts with bands like the Presets and Cut Copy but it just doesn't cut it. I need the overt homosexual aesthetic of Andy Bell and to a lesser degree that dude that hung him self while jerking off from INXS. That's what you call stage presence. And what happened to unabashed gimmicky costume wearing- like the Pet Shop Boys? Or tight-rolling your high-rise stone washed Jordache jeans? What happened to rocking painters caps, and dwayne wayne glasses and wearing 12 swatch watches?

Ahhh... the good ol' times.

These are all reasons why I still fucking hate Kurt Cobain.

Andy circa 1985 thinks...

Zoology 101

I have always had a love hate relationship with academia. Love- because I enjoy the process of learning and then flipping those lessons into application. Hate- because academia is racist (fuck whitey).

But I'm going to try to achieve some semblance of respect by cataloging all the species of birds that I know, one entry at at time.

Exhibit A.

I already miss 2008

I think one of the few things that made 2008 bareable was listening to Amy Winehouse. Now i realize that her first major release in the US dropped in '06 and that she's been well documented as a wackjob ever since but lets be honest-- she's never been as wretched as she is at this very moment.

When did Amy Winhouse turn into Horshack from Welcome Back Kotter?

Fall out... makes japanese people crazy.

Bob Loblaw's Law Blog

The last few nights of freedom from the drudgeries of work have been excessive. Pop quiz: What has Andy been doing with his time?

a. He's been watching the entire 3rd season of Arrested Development
b. He's been drinking lots of whiskey and pissing on alley walls
c. He's been rapping out about the cold streets of Chicago with Edward the homeless guy
d. He's been double fisting Blue Diamond BOLD Maui Onion & Garlic almonds
e. He's been hanging out with friends and their girlfriends and been quietly observing who wears the pants in said relationships.
f. All of the above

Friday night is a good example of what's been going on in my life as of late. I woke up exceptionally late that day. No particular reason. Ate a box of Zours for breakfast-- if you've never had Zours, find a local Blockbuster and scour the candy section for these delectable treats. Then I headed to the mall with James Hansen, my white knight. Ended up at Barney's and bought a $1000 Dries Van Noten sport coat for $200. By the way, the entire world is on sale.

Dries Van Noten

:::NOTE:::
I don't own a digital camera. The pictures embedded are my Google Search interpretation of the evening's events.

Then Mr. Hansen and I went over to Piano Bar to meet up with Noemerz and her pack of hoodlum friends. Of course we decided to take the Metro to be both hip and green (move out the way Jake Gyllenhaal). 

Sadly, I was not molested by a group of Japanese businessmen. I was really looking forward to it. I guess trains aren't what they're cracked up to be.

When the clock struck midnight we ventured over to Winston's in West Hollywood to pop in for a cordial "Shalom!" to Sarah Wasserman.  Winston's in itself is the perfect analogy to West Hollywood.  Its loud, pretentious, packed full of dudes and something fishy is going on in the bathroom.

Being surrounded ear to ear in a sausage fest was a bit uncomfortable. So finally we relocated to Dang Sung Sah. A shithole only the stinkiest of turds could love.  Mr. Bong Nam's birthday shindig was well under way. Enjoying a few beers with good friends is all you really need for a good night. But I'm always one for upping the ante. As I waited for a taxi with Lady T, I happened to give some homeless guy a $20 bill mistaking it for a $1 bill. But I didn't want to be an Indian giver, so I sat there talking to him for 20 minutes hoping to squeeze $20 dollars worth of entertainment out of this crazy bum. He didn't seem like the singing or dancing type. Nor did he have any funny stories. Instead, he explain the wonderfully troublesome life he's had with women. He told me he was from Chicago and give me a bunch of daps. I guess it warmed my heart a bit to know that Edward, the homeless guy, is probably smoking $20 worth of crack and having a great night.

Killer dude.

A very good friend of mine is quite an ambitious illustrator. His interpretation of 50's pop art and pin-up art is reminiscent of the graphic sensibilities of Goya's "Fantasy" era. Recently he's been dabbling in After Effects animation. Its really fun to see him express his dark side in a light hearted way.