i love me some kid dynamite.

david sedaris, wrong, gay so maybe right.

It's 5 am, and i've been up for atleast an hour. Sadly, at this hour there isn't much to do but blog/ browse the interweb. Its a sad existence, but if this were the 1800's i'd be shucking corn or something of the sort... I can't really complain.

I've been reading David Sedaris lately. Reading is an activity that is by and large reserved for moments not occupied by inanities of life. That relegates the activity to the moments between a morning shower and the midnight shit break. There's nothing like digesting prose to help push along a bowel movement... natures broom.

I've widely regarded the work of David Sedaris as the type of read for quasiqueer folk caught between their New York sensibilities and their midwestern upbringing (I'm talking about you Dave Chae).

Naked, like all of his other writing, is a collection of essays recounting his upbringing. He's gay... so hilarity ensues, supposedly.

One of the earlier essays draws a funny conclusion that the act of smoking is the answer to curbing curious impulses. To which, I must say, is widely inaccurate. In my estimation, smoking doesn't curb said impulses, it just magnifies them. It doesn't change who you are, it just makes you more of that, just smellier.

During my college life, I've seen dozens of kids stumble into smoking-- cigarettes, marijuana, cloves, those little Indian cigarettes that make you wonder why Indian folk are so backwards.
All of whom are no different from who they were before they began a life as windbag for carcinogens.

The douchebag you know from high school that picked up smoking only looks like more of a douchebag with a lucy in his mouth. The douchebag smoker, is the guy who smokes for show-- makes you wonder, "should I actually give him a square when he asks for one? I'm pretty sure he's not inhaling it." Or question, "is this motherfucker really buying a pack of American Spirits?" Well, American Spirits do pair well with lime flavored beer.

The psycho smoker, of which are generally women, seem to amplify their crazy when they start smoking. A story shared about "my stressful day" due to scatter brained logic only seem nuttier when a billow of smoke piles above that person's nappy hair.

Then, there's the dirty motherfucker. Phill is my dirty friend. Smoking hasn't kept him from being dirty. Smoking reifies the fact that he's a sloopy-- everything. I love you Phill, but you need to wash behind your ears once in a while.

A timid person like Dave Chae, only appear mousier when fumbling with a Nat Sherman.

Myself included, a supposed dark soul-- smoking has only cemented the fact that people think I'm a dickhead. With a cigarette in hand, you could say I look like more of a dickhead... no less.

In my estimation, the only thing that can change who you are is vagina. Vagina is the end-all, be-all. A power that can move nations. That, and Hip-hop. Score one more for douchebags.

finally. chi city!

...

i've been waiting for this day for a while. if you dont know what this is about, i suggest you find the original video.

celebrate good times

there are certain things in life that warrant dancing your ass off.

i dont know if ping pong qualifies but i know the feeling

favorite song ever (still)