p: Gyo p: Are you at the gym? a: No a; I'm taking a mean shit p: Lola; ate too many thin mints and moo gook p: Me too. I think the exit doors arn't big enough for the guests in my stomache p: Nam sang p: Gym p: I need to go a: Yes I do. Your metaphores arn't very deep a: Lets go p: or atleast a 30 min walk a: i'm downp: My metaphors have layers like a chocolate cake p: Nam sang a: ... a: Fat ass. U couldve said onion p: Here's where the deep part comes in p: Cake makes you happy. Onions make you cry.
Its cold, rainy, unseasonably pessimistic in Los Angeles, Dec. 21st at 11 pm. On the rare occasion that weather dictates a night in I like to cruise the interweb and go where the tide takes me. It occurs to me that I've never been much good at keeping up with friends-- I use facebook to look into other people's lives and laugh at unfortunate haircuts. I can't help but notice how the digital frontier is really putting a lot of pressure on my social life. "You've been invited to this... It's this person's birthday... 'Hey you, its been a long time... turns out I have herpes... you need to see a doctor...' etc etc etc." UGH. But I guess its probably time to symbolically make my once a year appearance with some of my more estranged loved ones-- so goes the holiday season. Its a mix of Yuletide spirit and various barbiturates that brings me "inspirado" (a la Jack Black). Realizing the only gift of which I can really spare the expense is a tape hand crafted in the spirit of our analog past. Analog in the sense that the songs will be hand picked, mixed and recorded live-- like the days you'd dub tapes of love songs for a girl. At 11:42 pm I started to record my Xmas gift to my dearest friends
(incidentally, I didn't really put too much effort into it because I realized that it'll probably end up in the hands of some of my most hated enemies alike). Though I'm a big fan of Jimmy Buffet's "Christmas Island" and other holiday themed albums-- making a mixed tape of Christmas carols is probably too unbearable for even the lowliest and most injudicious of my friends to listen to. Instead, I make a mixtape that again draws inspiration from the days of dubbing tapes for that special someone. Other inspirations include:
This guy.
For some reason I assume Kid Dynamite likes to dance and do blow. So the collection of songs enclosed are all dance songs. You'll first hear a clip of my favorite feeble fool, "Kip," from Futurama. That little snippet is the prologue to the story I try to tell through other peoples music. I hope the listener immediately understands what this string of grooves is all about. If you're the dumbass that doesn't get it I'll explain-- it's about love, relationships, break ups, and even deviant sex addicts (thank tyson for that). Well each song is a different scene. I like to leave art to interpretation but here's kinda how I saw it in my head, right?
1. prologue
2. Meet girl 'I Like That' 0:55
3. Meet boy 'Cold Act III' 4:05
4. Boy on the hunt 'Anyway' 5:55
5. Tango at the rave 'Ares' 8:05
6. Love is in the air 'Ghost In Colors'9:36
7. Trick on the side 'Beat that Beat' 12:20
8. She hates me 'Snakes' 15:00
9. She's out for revenge 'Nu Nu Yeah Yeah' 17:05
10. Ladies night out- Ackin' like they drunk 'Fly Like A G6' 19:05
11. She found some new dick? 'I Am Not a Whore' 21:28
12. The drunk dial... 'Needy Girl' 23:40
13. Be my baby... one more time.... 'Lights and Music' 25:22
i give it a thumbs up. i also have been informed that it was mixed by a girl which is also worth a thumb. lastly, there's also sprinkle of childish gambino which too is thumb worthy. so there are three thumbs in total.
since i'm an internet ninja i also found some older mixes which were less polished but equally as feverishly obtuse-- so hip your local barista will love it. look for em.
life isn't always about doing blow off a dead hooker. sometimes i like to stay in, curl up next to a warm fire and watch youtube clips of miley cyrus' crooked ass teeth.
now... i know what you're thinking. you're asking yourself. why is it that in the first picture her top teeth look straight and in the last one they're crooked again? funny you should ask because its all just a very simple answer. there is no demon trickery involved. its just that her abnormally large tongue isn't in the way.
miley's teeth are some what of a glorious example of what its like to have some teeth that fall in line, "SIR YES SIR!" But the rest are like, "eh fuck it... we'll do whatever the fuck we want."
or maybe the bottom is the epicenter of where the crookedness began and only a few of the top were effected by the fallout blast.
so much to think about... especially after hitting a bong.
i wonder if she gets high, and stares in a mirror at her teeth...
let's celebrate like they cured AIDS or something...
WAIT WHAT?
on the really though, we got lots of catching up to do. hey... remember that time you did that horse shit movie? no... not that one... "The Island." that movie was terrible. but i still love you.
