women's sufferage

take that ed hardy.

gang banger

random

I think all the world can agree that boost mobile only exists to supplicate the needs of drug dealers. And by drug dealers I mean black people.

Chinese people don't need to celebrate Christmas. They're godless beings.

Indians get it good. Corn alcohol, gambling and cool first names. Some people get all the luck.

Is it just me or is it that every Puerto Rican I've ever met has acne?

When gay dudes want to live in abstinence, do they stop jerking off? That's still kinda like sex with a dude, even if it is yourself. Maybe they still jerk off but turn off the Lady Gaga playing in the background to down play the gayness of it all.

politicin'

Last month I flew back home to visit my family. Apparently, when people get old they force loved ones to make sympathy visits. But then again my grandfather happened to have turned 80. So of course I made my rounds to explore Chicago. I haven't lived in Chicago in close to 10 years and things have changed-- for the worse.

Shooting the shit over expensive beers with dutch names, you can't help but gab about the lack of culture in the Windy City.

"Would you ever move back?"

The answer is simply-- no. Chicago is the most co-oped city in the world. Its lost its milieu to the hegemonic forces of upper middle class bottom feeders from the fringe. Its Chicago, Indiana or Chicago, Wisconsin more so than Chicago, Illinois.

Growing up as a Chicagoan in the 80s there were a few things that were absolutely a staple. Freestyle/House music, hot dogs, deep dish pizzas, sports and pollack jokes. If you ask Mr. Chad or Ms. Trixie from within the city limits about any of these things today I'm sure they'll just give you that vacant stare tailgated only by the cutting smell of axe body spray.

I can literally go on and on about it- politics to city planning, music culture to the Box but nothing really captures corrosion of Chicago more than sports.

Lets put it this way. If I see you wearing a Cubs hat I'll punch you in the face. If you're wearing a Sox hat I'll shake your hand. If I see you wearing a Bulls jersey with Rose on the back I'll laugh at you. If it has Cartwright on the back I might grin and nod at you in approval but if it says Jordan I'll call you a douche. If you're wearing a Bears jersey I'll pity you. If you're wearing a Blackhawks jersey, congradulations I don't hate you. What does it all mean?

The Cubs: co-oped. The Sox: not co-oped. The Bulls: co-oped way back when a bull dozer ran through Chicago Stadium.

that's a huge bitch

can you imagine size of her vag? you can probably hide a mini fridge in there. i wanna crawl up in that to stay warm like a taun-taun (star wars reference for the day, check!).

touche swayze... touche

my boy lazyswayze is back.

i guess the war is back on.

i must say if i wanted to read your vaginal style of literature i would rather have read the back of a summer's eve box.

HAR. i crack myself up.