hakseng hakseng!

So I've been traveling the world for the past 5 days. And by world, I mean the most backwards 3rd world nations in the eastern hemisphere. To tell the truth, Korea is not as terrible as I remember, due in part to the fact that you no longer have to hover over a hole in the ground to take a dump. For the most part, Seoul is exactly the same is K-town in LA. Seoul has as of late been garnished with a number of Starbucks, Poppa John's, Mcdonald's... all the fast food you can think of.

Its Vietnam that seems to bring out the hatred in me. This country is a lot like a rape victim-- disoriented, befuddled, and skanky.

On my flight to Vietnam I was blessed to be seated next to the lavatory, surround by old korean country folk. Apparently, they had saved enough money to see the world. They decided to go on a tour of Vietnam and Cambodia-- good choices...

During the inflight service, the not so sexy stewardesses passed along some customs arrival declaration cards. The cards all written in Vietnamese and English. As always, I filled out my card with the same amount of disdain a a redneck has for a black jew. These cards only serve to remind you of where your going and how long you'll have to suffer in that place.

After i was done, the Halabugee (korean grandfather) next to me taps me on the shoulder. "Hakseng Hakseng... yunguh hanee?" Which translates to "Hey kid do you speak english?"

I tried to play it off like I was japanese... This is generally my tactic to get out of conversing with Koreans. But he knew... some how that I was Korean. He continued on by asking me to fill out his card since he didn't know Vietnamese or English. So again, I filled out this fucking card and it felt like writing my own death certificate.

After he was appeased I tried to fall asleep. I put down my tray table so I couldr rest my ipod on it and closed my eyes.

I dreamt... and it was good. Euphoric... peaceful... dreams of milk and honey.

When I woke up there were five more cards along with 5 korean passports on my tray table. Apparently while I was sleeping the Halabugee had solicited my services to all the fucking koreans around me.

I died... 5 more times.