Porn for Nerds: February 2012

Friday, February 10, 2012

fuck parking attendants

anybody that parks in my building that doesn't have a parking pass has to pay five dollars. today, i was asked to park my buddy's car in my building for logistical purposes. as i pulled in the attendant asked me to pay the parking fee. i reached into my wallet and only came up with two washingtons-- i had just purchased a pack of cigarettes which costs the better part of a ten dollar bill (fuck.). so i said to him, "hey buddy, i live here." which usually gets the nod of approval with the unspoken understanding (at least with the regular attendant) that i'd pay the balance upon return to the car in an unspecified time between now and fucking tomorrow. he insisted i pay. i explain that i would need to park the car go up and get the few remaining dollars and come back down. i tried to stretch various words and emote with my eyes and hands to both make sure he understood english as well as express the inconvenience of the whole idea.

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i reached in to my jar of loose change and the first hand full of coins had eight quarters and a one dollar coin after carefully brushing away the pennies, nickles and dimes. i walk all the way back to where the attendant is and give him the $5 i had scrounged up. he looks at the dollar coin and says he can't accept it. he's never seen one before (double fuck.). i doth protested, yo.

how does this incan-looking, native-ass, dirt farmer mother fucker not know who sacajawea

is?

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stalemate. i had to give in and went to get another dollar. i went upstairs, walked to the jar of changed and reached in. all i need is 4 more quarters. but wait a minute...

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"uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco..."

its been 10 minutes. he looks mad. i wonder if he's mad that it took so long for me to come back or the fact that he has to count 500 pennies now.

"dicisiete, dieciocho, diecinueve.."

fuck this fool.