Porn for Nerds

FUCK SWAG

2012-02-01T23:30:00.001-08:00

shit is crack.

hedi you're my hero

2012-01-27T18:43:00.000-08:00

you can even make scoliosis appealing.

Julius Shulman on stopping time...

2012-01-27T12:22:00.000-08:00

what you fashionista bitches will be in 40 years.

2012-01-24T20:56:00.000-08:00

give it up... your fashion blog still sucks.

"어머 어머 어머"

2012-01-20T09:14:00.000-08:00

what the fuck is you smokin?

2012-01-20T07:41:00.000-08:00

we done gave black nerds way too much power. with every album this man's dick size gets smaller and smaller-- i think that's the same disease michael jackson had.

lost art of nonsensical music videos.

2012-01-20T00:51:00.000-08:00

hyukie... you a bad mother fucker.

2012-01-20T00:25:00.001-08:00

no homo.

literacy now

2012-01-18T09:23:00.000-08:00

eff chrissy. janet was my jawn piece.

2012-01-10T16:32:00.000-08:00

#teamjanet

yup.

2012-01-03T17:09:00.001-08:00

2012 = pp reunion

2012-01-02T12:22:00.000-08:00

You should get your story straight before I start to doubt it
Cuz if you've worn your lipstick off, I want to hear about it

And telling me would be such a breeze, tell me if you want to leave

I think I'm getting the drift
You want some time with your friends
On the nights and weekends
You take the time for yourself
Both of us used to spend

Before you make it better
Before you make it worse
First things first

I don't think it's an accident you treat me like a dummy
Hold on, Hold on
I've been asking for the truth at least just tell me something
Hold on, Hold on

And telling me would be such a breeze
Let me know, don't let me be

It's almost too easy
I'm holding you by the hand
More like the nape of your neck
Why don't you draw up a list you have to frequently check?
And put some things in order
And lose it in your purse
First things First

'추석'을 장례식으로 바꾸면, 나

2012-01-02T11:25:00.000-08:00

translation: ching chong mother fucker... we ain't speaking the same language.

January 1, 2012.

2012-01-01T15:42:00.000-08:00

I hope I'm not alone in feeling that today, January first in the year of two-thousand and twelve is the most depressing day in the history of the universe. In the fabric of space time continuum there is a dark spec that is today; a day void of any emotion nearing the realm of positive.
Granted, I am just returning from a funeral. The passing of my grandfather right between christmas and new year is already a mark against my credibility in accurately representing an unbiased account of the proximity of ephemeral etheral glee that may or may not exist according to who you may ask and whether he/she is a fan of Val Kilmer and how much so based on his religious beliefs. But I stand firm in my belief that today it the single most depressing day in the history of all existence.
Let us start in acknowledging today is both a holiday and a sunday. After experiencing christmas of 2011, which was exactly 7 days ago, the entire country should have all agreed that it must be amended into the constitution, ratified, passed, and whatever the fuck else has to happen happens so that a law to ban having holidays and sundays on the same fucking day n/ever* happen again

(pause for breath)

.

Well now here we are in 2012. An entire year wiser yet we still didn't learn from that tragic day back in the year of 2011, when the horrific "holiday on a sunday" calamity happened. We were unable to band together to overthrow the government. That government which was too slow; sloth-like in responding to the cries of the people. Unable to raise up and elect a single all powerful benevolent overlord to protect us from ever experiencing that holiday on a sunday disaster that we've established is the second largest affront (even fathomable) against our civil rights-- second only to holiday-crusader overlord I proposed at the beginning of this long ass mother fucking sentence maze that I've trapped you in.
It happened... again. Yes, today is both a Sunday and a Holiday. But that's not even the worst part of today. Today is a depressing day. I even feel sorry for a day like today. Today, I want to buy you a drink, bro. Don't get me wrong, Today. You did nothing wrong. In fact, Today, you were perfect. In fact, you were unseasonably pleasant. Today you were the perfect day-- right amout of breeze, perfect temperature, proper amount of clouds, a bare amount of humidity to keep the air moist enough for ease of breathing.
The thing is, today... NOBODY in the fucking world saw you. The entire collective of the human race slept in today. And why?????? BECAUSE A HOLIDAY CAN NEVER BE ON A SUNDAY! The entire world is taking a mulligan right now and you decided to be all amazing today and shit.
I will say to the guy that got up early today and went for a nice stroll or a jog up Runyon Canyon, "Good job, bro!" You should be our new leader or something bro. You want a job?

*an argument on the grammatical correctness of this clusterfuck of a sentence is also heavily weighed by the same Val Kilmer effect discussed heretofore.

Sincerely,
Doogie Howser, MD.

beeeee beee booo booo beee boooo beee beee booo boo beeeebooooo....

2011

2012-01-01T07:48:00.000-08:00

+
watch the thrown
dead ass kim jong il
siri
d rose mvp
walking dead

glee, no homo
toro y moi
2dcc wiltern
missoni for target

-
watch the thrown (see what i did there)
dead ass steve jobs
not dead ass sarah palin
the dougie
dead ass macho man randy savage
"ching chong ling long"
qwikster
occupy whatever whatever
friday
"ohhh ohh ohhhh ohhhhhhhh"

visual humor needs no subtitles

2011-12-24T19:46:00.000-08:00

quit playin

2011-12-23T16:03:00.000-08:00

japanese guys...

2011-12-23T14:11:00.000-08:00

i bet this hoe gives amazizng hand jobs

2011-12-23T11:49:00.001-08:00

i dont speak spanish but i do speak beibz

2011-12-23T11:33:00.000-08:00

thx yooks

modern english

2011-12-19T19:42:00.000-08:00

dr.

2011-12-10T10:44:00.001-08:00

over it

2011-12-10T09:49:00.001-08:00

tribute to drive from tom haugomat & bruno mangyoku on Vimeo.

ice cube

2011-12-09T03:54:00.000-08:00

Doughboy is learnin you

pirelli 2012. yes.

2011-12-06T16:55:00.000-08:00

wait... for... it

2011-12-06T14:56:00.001-08:00

if this song didn't make my dick soft i'd probably jerk off to this.

#realpeopleproblems

2011-12-03T02:27:00.000-08:00

damn... i'm old

2011-12-02T22:20:00.000-08:00

this ~~nigga~~ white guy just said...

me, all at once the ghosts come back reeling in you now/

oh tell me what if they came down crashing/

used to be, you and me played for all the loneliness no body notices now/

oh begging slow i'm coming/

HARD.

i <3 white people.

if i ever marry a chubby white hoe from colorado... this will be our first ~~dance~~ rhythmic convulsion

tiiiiightttttttt

2011-12-02T21:38:00.000-08:00

yeah it happened...

2011-12-02T20:38:00.000-08:00

bbb. this fool isn't dead yet?

2011-12-02T15:51:00.001-08:00

chicago b96-- '96 shit

2011-12-02T15:49:00.001-08:00

thinks he's tom hanks and shit.

2011-12-02T14:58:00.000-08:00

tuesday 4th and main. holla

2011-12-02T14:43:00.000-08:00

still need to go........

2011-12-01T12:14:00.000-08:00

vaughn ish.

2011-12-01T12:09:00.000-08:00

pretty hot for an ugly chick.

2011-12-01T12:01:00.001-08:00

Lora Zombie -Toronto: 10/21/2011 from Eyes On Walls on Vimeo.

okay you got it.

2011-11-30T18:51:00.000-08:00

High 5 put a yeezy/jigga video out.

check it out.

Kanye West and Jay Z - No Church In The Wild (music video) from High5Collective on Vimeo.

the song is too good... but it was a valiant effort.

Hip hop quotable for the year's gotta go to jiggaman:

'is pious pious cuz God loves pious?/ socrates asked whose bias do y'all seek?/ all for plato, screech/ i'm out here balling, i know you hear my sneaks/'

and if you don't get the references-- kill yourself.

jack nicholson-- beast mode.

2011-11-30T18:43:00.000-08:00

Carnal Knowledge 1971

xmas list

2011-11-29T14:22:00.001-08:00

wishlist:

Junya Watanabe Hooded Jacket.

Margiela Grey Slim Trousers

rag and bone mallory boot

even the minitures are too fucking expensive to own

2011-11-29T05:54:00.000-08:00

pst...

you're late.

pst pst...

fuck yo couch, nigga!

bobby. been blowin out backs since 1976

2011-11-29T05:25:00.000-08:00

i fucks wit you, ma dude.

bounce

2011-11-29T05:21:00.000-08:00

just in case you were wondering.

How To Make a Ball Out Of Rubber Bands on Howcast

kev-- you and me both.

2011-11-23T13:08:00.000-08:00

i'm pretty sure that's a nip.

2011-11-06T12:35:00.001-08:00

genius.

2011-11-05T10:25:00.000-07:00

Happy Halloween

2011-10-31T12:02:00.001-07:00

download here

Like every good dirt bag I spent my last 5 nights or so getting shizfaced. On one of those nights we were supposed to throw down a halloween mix tape. Of course we didn't finish, or even start I guess. But somehow we sprung a leak-- whatever came out between the time we hit record and stop has somehow gotten out there in the real world. So-- we're just gonna let it out there as an unfinished, product-- like fuggit.

Trick or treat.

i feel like this.

2011-10-28T20:08:00.000-07:00

not because i do heroin. but because i have a 104 degree temp and captain EO is my hero.

oblongs

2011-10-19T20:46:00.000-07:00

katie holmes got oblong titties...

literally.

i knew i've seen them milk bags somewhere.

buy me this... thx

2011-10-09T19:45:00.001-07:00

smell me?

2011-10-09T17:43:00.000-07:00

do i need to wear creepers with this?

2011-10-08T20:40:00.000-07:00

love.

2011-10-06T14:13:00.000-07:00

lies

2011-10-03T11:38:00.000-07:00

irony.

2011-09-24T10:33:00.000-07:00

team america. fuck yeah

2011-09-22T16:47:00.001-07:00

G.

2011-09-21T13:12:00.000-07:00

u need a better phone.

2011-09-17T20:22:00.000-07:00

white people

2011-09-17T20:20:00.000-07:00

missoni for target

2011-09-08T13:34:00.000-07:00

dropping next tuesday.

kids

2011-08-29T16:36:00.000-07:00

chocolate swirl.

2011-08-29T09:56:00.001-07:00

if this aint safe for work-- i dunno what is.

portraits

2011-08-22T11:36:00.000-07:00

lizzy mccguire can get it.

2011-08-12T18:45:00.000-07:00

sup girl. i'll let you kiss my gordo.

**for those of you who have never seen lizzy mac-- "Gordo" is the name of lizzy's best friend, who she kisses at the end of the theatrically released movie; also the name of my penis.

love.

2011-08-10T14:57:00.000-07:00

cat woman is asian.

2011-08-09T19:56:00.001-07:00

photoshop = dreams

2011-08-08T22:00:00.000-07:00

+++edit+++

i'm so meta

gun clappa

2011-08-08T19:05:00.000-07:00

that's gotta be uncomfortable

B+ shit.

2011-08-07T18:44:00.000-07:00

mochilla.com

dtla

2011-08-07T16:22:00.001-07:00

LA Light from Colin Rich on Vimeo.

nippi minaj

2011-08-06T16:02:00.000-07:00

surprise!

cuz yo head already know

2011-08-04T01:37:00.001-07:00

im sayin tho

2011-08-04T01:21:00.000-07:00

thx phill

move bitch

2011-07-31T13:32:00.001-07:00

fetish

2011-07-23T12:13:00.001-07:00

fuck this fool

2011-07-12T17:57:00.001-07:00

true true.

2011-07-07T15:19:00.001-07:00

via wearenotyou

word to my seed.

2011-07-07T14:52:00.000-07:00

yeah bitch you late.

2011-07-07T14:46:00.000-07:00

Man About Town Teaser from Wonderland Magazine on Vimeo.

you see this shit?

2011-07-07T14:34:00.000-07:00

linda farrow x raf - when good things go bad

when you see your favorite rapper sporting these tell him he's late

get me these

2011-07-07T14:32:00.001-07:00

...i'll suck your dick.

comme x generic man-- how the fugg did that happen?

70's swedes are swate

2011-06-21T14:34:00.000-07:00

what happened to california?

2011-06-13T10:52:00.000-07:00

the weather sucks shit. i want this... now.

feminine

2011-06-13T10:32:00.001-07:00

king james

james king

er'day

2011-06-04T23:39:00.001-07:00

yup.

2011-06-04T12:02:00.000-07:00

SASHA GREY from V Magazine on Vimeo.

skull fizzle

2011-05-30T09:38:00.001-07:00

thx james

chinks.

2011-05-27T11:34:00.000-07:00

...

2011-05-24T11:11:00.000-07:00

thats what im saying tho.

2011-05-23T10:34:00.000-07:00

demi lovato needs to start swallowing her finger

2011-05-18T10:33:00.000-07:00

its hard to be bulimic when you have no gag reflex.

run yo 'scripts nuggah

2011-05-11T16:55:00.000-07:00

"on some faggot bullshit... call him dennis rodman"

2011-05-11T16:53:00.000-07:00

lookin like a puerto rican fucked the toys r us giraffe.

3.1

2011-05-11T10:41:00.001-07:00

you're doing it wrong.

2011-05-09T11:56:00.001-07:00

still ill.

2011-05-09T10:17:00.001-07:00

ksubi still doing thangs

2011-05-09T10:08:00.000-07:00

ksubi kolors from ksubi on Vimeo.

back in the days

2011-05-02T20:39:00.000-07:00

can't fool a fool again.

2011-05-02T10:29:00.000-07:00

i want to piss on your head for some reason.

2011-04-30T12:09:00.000-07:00

oh, probably because you have a urinal mat on your face.